RUDE and MEAN, or BULLYING...Oh My!
Bullying is a hot button topic these day, right? And rightfully so.....
But, when rude and mean behaviors are overgeneralized as bullying, a pressing issue loses its urgency. We, both adults and children, need to be able to consistently distinguish between rude, mean and bullying behaviors. This will help us all to effectively respond to reported incidents of bullying.
So we definitely need to define each of these so we can all be on the same page. So here are some helpful ideas...
RUDE: Accidentally saying or doing something that hurts feelings, embarrasses others, or is socially unacceptable. These are unplanned inconsiderately thoughtless behaviors, bad manners, or thinking of only yourself, BUT not actually meant to harm or hurt others. ACCIDENTAL!!
MEAN: Purposely saying or doing something to hurt or harm someone, maybe once or twice....sometimes said in anger to make someone feel badly, but often is regretted later. PURPOSELY!
There are four general types of bullying:
1. Physical-actions that hurt the body *hitting, pushing, scratching, kicking (you get the picture!)
2. Verbal-words that hurt feelings *name-calling, threats, put- downs
3. Cyber-uses technology *social media, texts, chats
4. Relational-uses the threat of removing relationships *I won't be your friend if...., gossip and rumors, exclusion
I recently came across a wonderful article written in 2012 (a while ago, right?) by Signe Whitson, Licensed Social Worker, School Counselor, author, keynote speaker, and Chief Operation Office of Life Space Crisis Intervention Institute (WOW!).
In her article titled, "Is it Rude, It is Mean, or Is it Bullying?" she explains how everything isn't bullying and how many people have difficulty discerning what is and is not bullying. Click the link above to read the article. Enjoy the read!
Accidentally saying or doing
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